Monday, October 22, 2001

Dear Diary,

Loi found me in the bathroom this afternoon locked away with foam in my mouth and a blade in my hand. She tolds me "No! No! My husband! I know you were hit by various scandals, impeached, ousted from power, arrested, imprisoned, tried to do a comeback via mob but failed, lost countless appeals, charged with plunder AND LOST THE WEBBY'S! But this is not the way! Don't give up! Don't do anything stupid!"

I just stood there and then I slapped her. Yeah. I slapped her good you knows. I felt betterer. Sheesh. Can't anyone have a decent shave these days? Gosh.

No longer that disappointed about the webby's. It was all my fault. It was my mistake that I nominated my site in comedy. Hahaha. What was I thinking? I'm such a joker. I should have entered the site under government and politics. Or current events. I have very good opinions on current events.

And of course, other sites were very very good too. Nice design, and really entertainment medium, you knows. So to the other nominees, you're already winners. You beat the genius erap in web page making. Remember that when you tell stories to your grandchildren. But have children first. Have a girlfriend first. Stop webbing this and that so much and get a life, porgadseyk.

And to the judges, well, you're still cocksuckers. Goodbye.

Friday, October 19, 2001

So sads today. I just learned I lost the webby's. I'm not in the semifinals anymore. I'm eliminated anymore.

But maybe I had it coming. Haven't been updating the site. Have none of the cool flash animation kids want these days. None of that jambascript and the pretty colors.

It's the least of my problems, really. I'm already used to so much loss and humiliation. So to the judges and other contestants, congratulations and my thanks. You all deserve the webby's you fat, arrogant, overpaid, white-collar business criminal asshole cocksuckers. Miserable illiterate eye-candy masturbating self-aggrandizing self-worshiping faggots. Fucking pussies. You think bin laden is mean? Wait til you get a piece of Asiong you strutting, preening, posturing jackoffs.

No, I'm not sourgraping. I'm just a bit mads, that's all.