Dear Diary,

Mike, Tess, Mike, Tess. Is this working already. I already misses you oh my diary.
(Sino ba yung Mike and Tess?)

Dear Diary,

I am writing this from veteran's hospital, which is getting to be my favorite place, even though I am not veterans.

The other day I was so gulat because that GloMac visited me again, and she tolds me she wants reconciliation. And that she might build a special house for me here in veterans. Hmmm...could it be she has a crush on me too?
Hirap talaga ng pogi, kahit kalaban may gusto sa iyo...reminds me of that one film I did...forgot the title.

Anyways, GloMac told me she's not going to opposition house arrest for me, and that she hopes me and my gang can be her friends and stuff.
Hmm. I don't know...LOSER!!! My senator friends, my Loi included, will be on your toes, GloMac!

Oh and the doctors told me my Jinggoy has high cholesterol. No more porkchops for you, junior.

P.S.

Ginebra lost the finals. Wala talagang hustisya sa bansa na ito.

Dear Diary,

I just so sad.First of all I can'ts believe Ginebra lost. Lamang na sila nung 4th Quarter! I smell a dagdag-bawas. That dwarf GloMac knows I like Ginebra. It's just a part of the psychological warfare they have against me. But no. I will not back down. Already my friends are making it on the list. Manong Johnny, Ping-Pong, Gregarious...even my dearly beloved Loi. (And maybe even that nut case woman). Haha. I will be free soon enough. To be bad Me didn't win. I guess people thought she was too young. Oh well. Poor kid. Maybe she has a future in showbiz.

Kakainis lang 'to si Jinggoy kasi. Napicturan tuloy nangongopya sa akin. Why can't he be more like me? I'm so smart.

Soon I will be free. I will taste freedom! I will survive!

Dear Diary,

I was brought to Veterans hospital again, where I could have my checkup and so I can votation. But I wonder, where was my media coverage? Shouldn't they be covering my historic vote (I finally figured out the list party system!)?

Can I tells you a secret? I have a confession to make. I did not vote for one of my party mates. She makes me nerbyos, you knows. I think she has a crush on me all along. In fact I thinks she's crazy about me, telling people shit like jumping off an airplane, being shot in luneta, just for me. Lying and laughing in front of TV like a lunatic. Susmaryosep, that's one weird mama. Buti ba naman kung maganda eh kaso...Ehem.

Oh. And Ginebra won. Tie na sila ng San Miguel! Woohoo! Everything is possible in this country. I may become president yet again...

Dear Diary,

Feeling mucho betterer now. The court allowed me to vote on monday. I will, of course, vote for my wife, jinggoy and jv. I think I will also vote for Me...you knows, that cute kid in the commercial from ABS-CBN. I didn't know kids like that can run for office now (and what dumbass parent would name their kid Me?). Must be because of that dang party-list system I don't know about. I myself may vote Ginebra for the party list, God knows they need to win these days.

Not just that. I have a new aircon in my pad err...jailcell. Soon I will have that fast DSL thing so i can surf the interweb and do my diary more oftener. It's not like my Boracay mansion, but it's not so bad now.
I think there's still space for a jacuzi, Jinggoy and I will have some father and son bonding with beers and babes. Anyone wanna crash my pad? Yeh!

Dear Diary,

Okay I am not sore anymore. Although I really like to try the new ride at the Enchanted Kingdom, it can wait. I'm still in jail at this stupid compound overlooking the site where they executed GomBurZa. They said it stands for Gomez, Burgos at Zamora. Di ko alam na pinatay na nila si Richard Gomez at ex-Executive Secretary Ronaldo Zamora. Sobra talaga pasakit inaabot ng aking mga allies and comrades. Di ko kilala yung Burgos na yun.

Anyway, iniisip ko kanina yan when that unano...Madame President pala...dropped by to visit. Buti na lang walang kurtina yung bintana at nailigpit ko yung gamit ko na pang tunnel. I was surprised, befuddled, bewildered and nagulat by the visit. She said she wanted to check out my living conditions. Well she saw for herself. No curtains on the windows! No doors! And to think I spent 11 million on the curtains at Malacañang! Ahem...And to think MY FRIENDS donated 11 million for the drapes at the Palace! By golly!

She only stayed for a few minutes. Cardinal Vidal was with her. Sayang I could've used my charm on her. Pero I wasn't in the mood. Hirap talaga ng gwapo.

And so I wait. I finally understand what the lawyers are trying to do. Hehe. Di pala bahay ko pinapaaresto nila. They want me to stay in my house while I'm under arrested. Okay yun. At least my cable TV. May aircon. May pinto yung banyo. At may sariling kwarto si Jinggoy at hindi ko na kelangan marinig ang hilik niya.

Dear Diary,

They tricked me again! Akala ko ba sa Enchanted Kingdom kami pupunta ni Jinggoy!?! Yun pala sa isang bahay na may aircon, tv, vcd player, gas range, at surround sound system. This is an outrage! Anong kasalanan ang naggawa ko at dito nila ako ikukulong?

Today I am tropical depression. My supporters, my loyal fans, failed to take Malacañang and make me president again. My most loyal senator friends are being arrestment. Oh I think I need a puppy, diary.
Oh puppy puppy puppy...you still think I'm president do you, puppy? You think I'm innocent do you, puppy? Good puppy!

*Ehem.*

You knows, it's all that Gloria's fault. All of it. Of course I did not want them to march to Malacañang. Of course I did not want to be return to power. Of course I do not want immunity from suits, my mansions, my billions. State of rebellion my pwet.

How could she say that it's rebellion? My mo..err, crowd, had no leaders. It was a spontaneous combustion, so naturally, cars had to be burned, stores had to be looted, and innocent bystanders bashed in the head. Serves them right for not being pro-me.

Just for the record though, I think they ought to shut that Miriam up a bit. Always trouble whether pro or anti. She should have been in Mediola. Maybe a few rocks to the head wouldn't hurt in her case.

But this is only in the beginning when the hero and his friends are defeated. Soon I will rise again. And then I will beat the villain in the warehouse, and then a slow-motion scene in the beach with my leading lady (that Joyce Jimenez. I've been thinking a lot about her in jail).

Ituloy ang laban! Dead kung patay!