Dear Diary,

I am so devastated. My good friend, and one of show business' institutions, Nida Blanca, died of multiple stab wounds. You can lose millions. You can lose mansions and power. But the loss of a friend can be irrepairable. I am saddened by the kind of depravity that makes such senseless violence possible, that kills the best and brightest among us. May she rest in peace. And may justice be served.

Dear Diary,

Today I arrived in the Sandiganbayan with conjunctio...conju...with sore eyes. It's true. You can see my really sore eyes on TV. My lawyer, that young genius Fortun is truly a brilliant lawyer. He asked the court to excuse me from the trial, and so i was excused. What a stroke of genius! Reminds me of my collge days. Ma'am excuse me i have LBM. Ma'am excuse me my dog ate my pants. Ma'am excuse me I have sore throat. If we play our card right, I will never have to appear court. Next time I'll try hepatitis. Then maybe athletes foot.

Dear Diary,

i'm requesting the government to give me a few months leave. I need to go to the US because...uh...my knees hurt. That's right. It's hard to play tennis in my cell nowadays. And according to my doctors, they need to replace it with a prosthe...a prosti...a robotic part, which is not available in the philippines.


last night it was a blackout again. the whole of luzon. and according to NAPOCOR it's because of jellyfishes again. or squids. there must be really big mutant squids living near the powerplants. the blackout was so long and there was no aircon in my cell the whole night! such suffering for me! maybe they should form a task force to deal with this mutant squids and jellyfishes. in japan they have robots to deal with just this thing. it's true. i saw it on tv.